SPONSOR: What could be better than being able to get your work done on the floor, sofa, in bed, a park, or anywhere? The Lapstation is for all of us who want to work where we want.

And speaking of things you should have on your desk, check out the non-nerdy Nerdy Books. Their keyboard shortcuts and tiny tips will keep your computing skills finely tuned. Even if you think you already know everything, I bet you'll fall in love with a nerd (or two). Gretchen didn't believe me, either. I sure showed her the light -- and I shouldn't have. Now she knows what I look like, and that can't be good for our marriage. I'm kidding, of course -- but I'm NOT joking when I say that these printed tip references are neat.

PC World Picks Remind-Me RedBox Organizer GoldenSection Organizer Electronic Assistant Lite Above & Beyond 2000

Despite the valid foundation of a distributed computing model (covered in Friday's issue), Juno has far from perfected it. I was only trying to point out how one company was trying to make lemonade. Well, there's too many lemons right now. The *IDEA* behind what they are doing is still strong -- distributed computing, for clarification's sake. My idealist approach to technology often leaves the decision making process in the reader's hands. You're the one using your computer; you have the power to decide what goes and does not go on it, in it, or through it. Admittedly, Juno's new program is not quite ready for prime time; do you understand that I was only trying to convey the value of the concept? Noting comes without caveats; a quick look at any company's privacy policy should (in theory) tell you just about everything you need to know. ALWAYS offer your suggestions for software improvement; if the other party does not listen, at least you tried to help.

-- Chris Pirillo        

GnomeDOWNLOADS

MagniTrax v1.15 [320k] W9x/2k FREE

http://www.pixelkinetix.com/exes/pkxwizard.exe
http://www.pixelkinetix.com/MagniTrax.asp
http://screenshot.lockergnome.com/magnitrax.png

{Versatile image viewer} Open your eyes and see. Open your files and... wait, do you have a program to recognize that graphic format? What about something to zoom in on your screen's contents? Or a tool to yank images automatically from a Web page? Beyond bringing you to this level of utilitarianism, this package also works with your Webcam (for real-time head tracking). The image slideshow option is sure to be a hit at parties. Catalog Web images for future retrieval; stop wasting hard drive space. So, what else can it do? View 3D HoloGrafix images. But that's not going to happen often, unfortunately (only because there are few to be found).

Sleepy Sound v1.1 [460k] W9x/NT/2k FREE

http://www.aarsoftware.com/ssound.exe
http://www.aarsoftware.com/
http://screenshot.lockergnome.com/sleepysound.png

{Fall asleep gradually} Which would you rather have: an alarm that instantly pulls you out of sleep by making obnoxious noises, or a soothing mixer that brings you back from dreamland gently? Are we made of eggshells? When it comes to slumber, I'm definitely an egg. This nocturnal device plays music when it's time to close your eyes; the volume is continually reduced until you fall into unconsciousness. After your bedtime is over, the music begins and gets louder and louder until you wake up. No snooze bar, buddy. I'm getting relaxed just thinking about it... somebody get me a pillow. Or, Pirillo. He's... that one guy... who likes to stay up 'til... 3AM.

GnomeSYSTEM

PerfGraph v1.0.0.1 [107k] WNT/2k FREE

http://radad.xoasis.com/software/perfgraph.zip
http://radad.xoasis.com/

"This is a utility to view any of the performance monitors on Windows NT and Windows 2000. Some example performance monitors are CPU usage and Disk usage. This has been written so that the window can be made small and unobtrusive." There are other freeware packages available for download from this site; utilities to: quickly view images, test and configure the current screen saver, replace the command line of windows, easily switch between shells, keep a history of the text copied to the clipboard, manipulate the registry from the command line, et al. While each is relatively focused in scope, these programs are useful.

GnomeWORD

((( HOTKEY ))) Hotkey? Didn't he define this already? Well, kinda. We touched on this when I defined "function key" for y'all a few issues back. When I say "we," I'm referring to myself and the alter ego who uses words like "y'all." Anyway, he tells me that a "hotkey" is any key (or collection of keys) that perform tasks. They can open programs, save files... whatever. Knowing several "hotkey" shortcuts is one of the many hoops you must leap through to be part of the great geek Olympics. If you've installed the incredibly robust (incredibly free) IrfanView image viewer, you can use the CTRL+SHIFT+I hotkey to launch the program. What have we learned, then? A "shortcut" is what a "hotkey" is used for, and a "function key" is a kind of "hotkey." And the ankle bone's connected to the foot bone... everyone clear on all of this? I knew you were. Dem keys, dem keys, dem... hotkeys.

GnomeFAVORITE

eBlots

http://www.eblots.com/

{Discover your psyche} If you've ever taken a Rorschach (Inkblot) test, you know it can reveal a lot about your psyche. "What does this look like?" An inkblot. "And this?" Another inkblot. "And this one?" Um... The Battle of Gettysburg? This site bills itself as "cut-rate Internet therapy." I don't know how therapeutic it is, but it is cool to enter what the crude drawing looks like to you and then see how it compares to other visitors' perceptions. Maybe you aren't as crazy as you think you are? No, you probably are. Just try not to take the results too seriously. I'd hate to have you run out and do something drastic. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...

GnomeTIP

Coming from the "Quicker Than Lassie" Department, Lockergnomie Denis Franco found a fabulous finding feature for W2k fans. So, the search engine didn't save your sanity? Something tells me that "chocolate covered moth balls" are not a popular treat (even for clothes). You've written countless papers on the subject, but they're scattered about your hard drive. The "Indexing Service" provides Windows 2000 users with far more functionality than the operating system's default Search feature. Right-click on "My Computer" and select the "Manage" option. In the left pane, double- click "Services and Applications." Right-click on the "Indexing Service" option to start the process. According to the documentation: "[it] extracts the information from a set of documents and organizes it in a way that makes it quick and easy to access that information through the Windows 2000 Search function, the Indexing Service query form, or a Web browser. Once the index is created you can query the index for documents that contain key words, phrases, or properties." Key feature? Being able to use the all-too-familiar Web browser interface to uncover relevant results.

SPONSOR: FREE Inkjet Cartridges. Buy ONE Cartridge, Get TWO Free On All Epson and Most Canon Inkjet Printer Cartridges! Separate Pricing For HP and Lexmark. CLICK HERE for complete list of cartridges and media paper.

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GNOMESITE

This week's Gnomie is Techsmith.com. "TechSmith Corporation develops practical screen capture software and video screen recording & production tools to capture and manipulate images, video and voice." Why I like this site: who doesn't need some nifty video software?

If you would like to be the featured Gnomie of the Week, just grab the GnomeCODE and put it on your Web site.

GNOMEVIDEO

Every week, I'll post a new video clip here (in MPEG format); it will be taken with either the Sony Cybershot DSC-S70 or Mavica FD-95. This week, we'll witness a live statue frustrating pedestrians in the middle of France.

Alabaster Annoyance

GNOMEDESKTOP

FONTS: caffeen fonts

THEMES: Nefaria.com

SCREENS: Holiday Savers

GNOMECREDITS

©2001, Lockergnome LLC. ISSN: 1095-3965. All Rights Reserved. Chris Pirillo spits out all the content. The decision to download a binary or visit a Web page is up to you; we are not responsible for the use, functionality, appearance, privacy policy, upkeep, or management of featured stuff. Since your mileage may vary, please backup your system often. Contact the appropriate author(s) with any questions or concerns. Our Web site is hosted by DigitalDaze; our list server is hosted by ApexMail. Idealist Lemons Dyslexia can warn without striking.